its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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