At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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