At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
