I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
porn star boner night. come get it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
