Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
