I could have mohawked her pubes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
