porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
