i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You are a genius and a whore.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
The ass gains better be worth it
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
