She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize