Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
