Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
