You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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