do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
