My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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