my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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