Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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