Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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