But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
