whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
