saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
