Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
