I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
