I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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