you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
ttyl tear gas
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
