you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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