You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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