My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
