sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The power of my boobs compel you
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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