i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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