everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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