I am in a vortex of obligation.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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