therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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