I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
