the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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