I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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