whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
