Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
