"it" just moved
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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