P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
