after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
