I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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