I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
foreskin is a definite game changer
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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