were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
