wat bout pragnant strippers??
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
