areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
