When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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