I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
