That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
