and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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