these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
