Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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