So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
