whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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