He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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