Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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