belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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