Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
