Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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