i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
