Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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