Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
