he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
