Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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