it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
