this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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